James' World 2

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The ride home from school can feel like a battle of wills with my oldest son. When I start the car, he’s a bundle of ecstatic energy. But when I begin asking him about his day, his smile vanishes, and he locks his mouth up like a safe. The remainder of the trip is more nerve-wracking than an episode of Law and Order as I listen for any clue that will get him to open up to me.

My wife and I shared in our son’s excitement to start kindergarten this year. But now that he’s several weeks in, it has been difficult for us to gauge his enthusiasm. And as someone who found socializing at school challenging, I’m always concerned that other kids are bullying him or he is finding the curriculum hard to handle.

But getting kids to talk about their day has been a struggle of parents for generations. And judging from the plethora of articles that deal with this topic, the fight to find out what happens at school will continue to be waged within minivans and around dining room tables far into the future.

To aid in the struggle, we researched why children don’t talk about what happens after we drop them off—and share some strategies and questions that might encourage kids to open up.

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Photo: Ruslan Shugushev (Shutterstock)

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Back-to-school jitters are normal every fall. But as families prepare for the beginning of the 2021–22 school year, these run-of-the-mill worries are colliding with fresh uncertainties about the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, leaving kids and parents more anxious than usual.

Parents can use many strategies to help their children handle this challenging situation, according to Elizabeth Reichert, clinical associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine.

“I often talk to parents about being the lighthouse in their child’s storm, the light that shines steadily in a predictable rhythm and doesn’t waver no matter how big the storm is,” Reichert said. “Their job is to be that lighthouse.”

Reichert spoke with science writer Erin Digitale about how parents can help ensure that budding students of any age—from preschool to high school—are ready to handle anxieties as the school year begins.

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Kids Who Are Anxious

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Even if you managed to keep your job, it likely changed in some significant way. And change doesn’t always mean for the better.

Even before Covid-19, more than half of Americans found their job unsatisfactory, according to an annual survey by the Conference Board research group. The nation had been hovering around the halfway mark of job dissatisfaction since at least 2000.

That statistic means half the people you work with every day are living a work-life that Henry David Thoreau would have described as one of “quiet desperation.”

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This essay is part of a column called The Wisdom Project,

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Remote working arrangements can make engaging teams even more challenging for leaders. Many of us are feeling increased anxiety, and that can be a big distraction when it comes to focusing on work.

“Right now, we’re in a crisis of belonging,” says Edward Sullivan, CEO of Velocity Group, an executive coaching firm focused on early-stage startups. “Not only are people staying home and dealing with challenges of the pandemic, such as the health of their loved ones and teaching and rearing children; they’re also dealing with loss of connection with coworkers. Leaders are challenged with continuing to create feelings of connectedness.”

While several companies addressed the issue at the start of the pandemic with Zoom happy hours and games, the solutions weren’t always effective. “Often these events turned into 40 people staring at each other, which felt awkward,” says Sullivan. “What is working is having smaller numbers of people getting together and leaders proactively reaching out to connect one-on-one with their employees.”

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Photo by Yuliia Kutsaieva/Getty Images

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It was two weeks, originally. Who couldn’t do two weeks with the kids at home? Two weeks to bend the curve. It was simple.

Then it was two months—because nothing bent—and, well, we did two weeks and that went okay, so two months would be doable, right? Right?

And then it was summer, and kids are always home in the summer, so how was that different? Sure, we can’t go anywhere, but we’ll just do a little more TV, a little more iPad, a little more of everything we’re already doing. Besides, school is just around the corner and finally, they’ll go back.

Except they didn’t. Instead, it was a year in limbo: school on stuttering Zoom, school in person, and then back home again for quarantine, school all the time and none of the time. No part of it was good, for kids or parents, but most parts of it were safe, and somehow, impossibly, we made it through a full year. It was hell, but we did it. We did it.

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Bing Guan / Bloomberg / Getty

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