James' World 2

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Success is not made by one big action but rather the accumulation of habits made over a long period of time.

But not all habits are created equally.

Some habits will move you forward. Others will move you backward.

You get to decide which ones you take.

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Photo by Prophsee Journals on Unsplash

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When assessing a potential long-term partner, many factors must be considered. Their values, emotional management, political leanings—and so much more. One facet that sometimes gets glossed over in new relationships is the subject of money. While you don’t want to kill the vibe by inquiring how much student debt they have on the first date, it is a subject that should be discussed early on.

We all have different relationships with money. Some of us are cautious-minded savers, others are profligate spenders. Some are always padding their rainy day fund; others can’t resist purchasing new stuff every paycheck. When you’re in a relationship, it’s paramount to find out how your partner operates when it comes to money—because if the relationship continues for the long haul, it will come up. A lot. Here’s how to lay the foundation for ongoing financial intimacy.

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Photo: LightField Studios (Shutterstock)

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Susanna Abse is the marriage counselor’s marriage counselor – 30 years in practice giving her peerless insights into the challenges couples face without making any dent in her curiosity and originality. This serene, witty 65-year-old is exacting but non-judgmental; I imagine you’d feel able to say absolutely anything in front of her unless it was bullshit. You would trust her with your marriage, but you’d want to take your A-game.

Abse can’t begin to estimate how many couples she’s seen since her first in 1986 but puts it at tens of thousands of hours. She has worked with every kind of couple, from the ones who “bang their heads together and shout and stand up and walk out” (she calls these “doll’s house” couples in her book – people who break things without any sense of consequence), to the ones who think there’s never been anything wrong, and can’t understand why they’ve suddenly got issues.

She typically sees a couple weekly or biweekly. Her work is instinctive: a couple will continue to meet with her for as long as it takes. “I absolutely never know whether a couple will separate or not,” she says.

Post-Covid, there has been a rise in the number of couples seeking therapy, but it’s perhaps not as dramatic as you might expect. If the field is booming, it’s because millennials, and couples even younger, are seeking help earlier in their relationship – at a point when older generations would have just called it quits. The rise probably isn’t hurt by the popularity of shows such as the BBC’s Couples Therapy, which sheds a light on this usually hidden process.

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‘If a couple never argues, it’s because things have been parked,’ says therapist Susanna Abse. Photograph: William Elliot/William Elliot / Gallery Stock

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I love to cook, and I’m constantly hearing about new kitchen tips and tricks. And while some can be forgettable, others really stand out in my mind and make me think, Whoa, I should really try that. So I browsed the subreddit r/cooking and comments from the BuzzFeed Community, and I compiled a list of the small but surprising cooking tips that seriously impressed me.

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Some people seem to spend their whole lives dissatisfied, in search of a purpose. But philosopher Iddo Landau suggests that all of us have everything we need for a meaningful existence.

According to Landau, a philosophy professor at Haifa University in Israel and author of the 2017 book Finding Meaning in an Imperfect World, people are mistaken when they feel their lives are meaningless. The error is based on their failure to recognize what does matter, instead becoming overly focused on what they believe is missing from their existence.

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Reflecting on the question of meaning can be an answer. Photo by Reuters/Denis Balibouse

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