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Help! My Son’s Divorce Is Ruining One of My Best Friendships.

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Dear Prudence, 

My 42-year-old son has recently filed for divorce from his wife of 12 years, over her inability to have biological children. Personally, I feel that this is horrible and petty, and while I love my son, he’s not behaving well here. That is as it is, I have spent 17 years getting to know “Jasmine,” and had we met as coworkers or at the gym, I would have considered us friends, not mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. We get along well, and previously went on frequent outings together, in which we did not talk about her relationship with my son, but about everything else.

But, and there is always a but, I don’t want to take sides here. My son is entitled to his wishes and desires, but if this happened to some other couple, I would definitely support the woman here. Is there a way forward to include her in my life, should she want that? I wouldn’t want to cause her additional pain, as she was blind-sided by his request for a divorce by being a reminder of her “failed marriage.” I had thought to write an email, letter, or text saying I was still here and to write back when she was ready, if she wanted to stay friends. But I worry that makes it seem like I don’t want to be. Honestly, at the moment, I’d rather be her mother (who is still living and a positive maternal figure as it is), than my thoughtless son’s.

—Torn Up Inside

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https://compote.slate.com/images/71bd1962-89c3-44ab-808a-71a054063655.jpeg?width=1280Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by PeopleImages/iStock/Getty Images Plus.

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Click the link below for the article:

https://slate.com/human-interest/2022/10/son-divorce-dear-prudence-advice.html?utm_source=pocket_discover_self-improvement

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Maddalena Archipelago

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The Maddalena Archipelago is a group of islands in the Strait of Bonifacio between Corsica (France) and Sardinia (Italy). The whole archipelago makes the territory of the La Maddalena comune in Sardinia.

The archipelago consists of seven main islands and numerous small islets. The largest one is the island of La Maddalena (Italian: Isola La Maddalena), with a homonymous town, which is the largest settlement in the archipelago. The other six islands, in order of size, are Caprera, Spargi, Santo Stefano, Santa Maria, Budelli, and Razzoli. Only Maddalena, Caprera, and Santo Stefano are inhabited; Budelli had a single caretaker until 2021.

Lying adjacent to the tourist resort of the Costa Smeralda, Maddalena has the same clear waters and wind-blown granite coastlines but remains a haven for wildlife. It is a designated national park, the Parco Nazionale Arcipelago di La Maddalena. It is a popular tourist destination, especially among boaters. In 2006 it was placed on the tentative list for consideration as a World Heritage Site by UNESCO.

The islands have been inhabited since prehistoric times. They were known by the Romans as Cunicularia and were a busy shipping area during the 2nd and 1st centuries BC. The Maddalenas have a strategic value and were the object of a dispute between the maritime republics of Pisa and Genoa in the 13th century and subsequently was abandoned for a long period before being colonized again by Corsican shepherds and by Sardinian settlements in the 18th century. Napoleon Bonaparte, Admiral Nelson, and Giuseppe Garibaldi all have historical links with the area.

The main access into and out of the archipelago is via the frequent car ferries from Palau on Sardinia that run into La Maddalena. There are roads only on Maddalena and Caprera.

From 1973 until 2008 the Santo Stefano island was a home for the NATO naval base which housed US nuclear submarines. Controversy arose in 2003 when the USS Hartford ran aground in the vicinity of the Bisce Island [it] while on maneuvers in the area. Wikipedia

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An image from Maddalena Archipelago

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A reckoning has begun for corporate debt monsters

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When investment bankers agreed in January to underwrite the leveraged buy-out of Citrix, a software company, by a group of private-equity firms, returns on safe assets like government bonds were piffling. Yield-hungry investors were desperate to get their hands on any meaningful return, which the $16.5bn Citrix deal promised. Lenders including Credit Suisse and Goldman Sachs were happy to dole out $15bn to finance the transaction. Inflation would pass, central bankers insisted. Russia hadn’t invaded Ukraine, energy markets were placid and the world’s economies were growing.

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https://www.economist.com/img/b/834/469/90/media-assets/image/20221001_WBD001.jpg.

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Click the link below for the article:

https://www.economist.com/business/2022/09/27/a-reckoning-has-begun-for-corporate-debt-monsters?utm_source=pocket_discover_business

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28-year-old Harvard grad who quit his $200,000 job: Here’s the biggest downside of success ‘no one talks about’

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In 2018, after graduating from Harvard Law School, I landed my dream job at a top law firm in California. I was just 24 years old and making $200,000 a year, including bonuses.

From the outside, it looked like I was happy and thriving in my career.

But here’s the biggest downside of success that no one talks about: the deep anxiety — and eventual depression — that often goes ignored.

From Harvard Law to severe anxiety and depression

My grandmother and I were very close. After she passed away during my last year of college, I started experiencing frequent panic attacks and gastrointestinal problems.

I went through a cycle of stool tests, ultrasounds, and eventually an endoscopy under anesthesia. At certain points, I couldn’t eat, exercise or even hold conversations because I was so sick.

But the doctors kept telling me the same thing: “You look perfectly healthy, you just have to get your stress under control.”

When the pandemic hit in 2020, my mental health spiraled even more, and I found myself unable to keep up with my workaholic habits. I finally met with a psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with severe anxiety and mild depression.

That wasn’t what I expected after working so hard to get to the top. At the same time, however, having an official diagnosis forced me to redefine what success meant to me.

So in July 2021, I quit my job as a corporate attorney to focus on my mental health, and it has changed my life for the better. With the additional breathing room, I was able to stay more disciplined with healthy routines.

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https://image.cnbcfm.com/api/v1/image/107105266-1660751007503-me_looking_side.jpg?v=1665069461&w=740&h=416&ffmt=webp

Julian Sarafian, a graduate of University of California, Berkeley, and Harvard Law School quit his $200,000-per-year job in 2021 to manage his anxiety and depression.  Photo: Julian Sarafian

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Click the link below for the article:

https://www.cnbc.com/2022/10/06/28-year-old-harvard-graduate-who-quit-his-200000-per-year-job-shares-biggest-downside-of-success.html?utm_source=pocket_discover_self-improvement

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News You might have missed!

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Pragser Wildsee Italy

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The Pragser Wildsee, or Lake Prags, Lake Braies (Italian: Lago di Braies; German: Pragser Wildsee) is a lake in the Prags Dolomites in South Tyrol, Italy. It belongs to the municipality of Prags which is located in the Prags Valley.

During World War II it was the destination of the transport of concentration camp inmates to Tyrol.

In recent years, the lake has earned the nickname “Pearl of the Alps” due to its increasing popularity among tourists.

The lake lies at the foot of the imposing rock face of the Seekofel (Italian Croda del Becco, Ladin Sass dla Porta 2,810 m) and is located within the Fanes – Sennes – Prags nature park.

It has an extension of about 31 hectares with a length of 1.2 km and a width of 300-400 meters. It is one of the deepest lakes in the autonomous province of Bolzano, with a maximum depth of 36 meters and an average depth of 17. The maximum water temperature is 14 °C. It is a barrage lake, as its creation is due to the barrage of the Prags River due to a landslide detached from the Herrstein.

The lake is a tourist destination, which attracts visitors for the blue/emerald green color of its clear waters and for the natural scenery in which it is immersed. In fact, the lake is surrounded on three sides by Dolomite peaks, including the Seekofel. The lake is the starting point of the Alta via n. 1 of the Dolomites called “The classic” which reaches Belluno at the foot of the Schiara Group.

In recent years, thanks to popularity of the Italian TV series Un passo dal cielo, the Pragser Wildsee became one of the most visited places of the region Trentino-South Tyrol as it started attracting the attention of countless travel bloggers and professional photographers. The large inflow of tourism brought local administrators to think of ways to reduce the number of visits to preserve the mountain-lake ecosystem. Wikipedia

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An image from Pragser Wildsee Italy

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Confused about the housing market? Here’s what’s happening now – and what could happen next

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The slowdown in the otherwise red-hot housing boom has been stunningly swift.

The U.S. housing market surged during the pandemic as homebound people sought new places to live, boosted by record-low interest rates.

Now, real estate agents who once reported lines of buyers outside open houses and bidding wars on the back deck say homes are sitting longer and sellers are being forced to lower their sights.

That has both potential buyers and sellers wondering where they stand.

“As recession concerns weigh on consumer outlooks, our survey shows uncertainty has made its way into the minds of many buyers,” said Danielle Hale, chief economist at Realtor.com.

Here are the major factors behind the topsy-turvy housing market. (see article)

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Click the link below for the article:

https://www.cnbc.com/2022/09/09/housing-market-confusion-whats-happening-next.html?utm_source=pocket_discover_business

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How to Find Small Moments of Joy in Dark Times

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Sometimes the smallest moments of joy are the only ones that feel possible. That’s what Nora McInerny learned in 2014 when she lost her 35-year-old husband and her father to cancer and her second baby to miscarriage—all within the span of eight weeks.

Her husband, Aaron, was a “naturally buoyant person,” says McInerny, who’s the host of the podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking and author of the upcoming book Bad Vibes Only. “He just had this otherworldly ability to find the fun and the joy in anything,” she says. “I learned from him the importance of staying as present as possible in the moment, even when the moment sucks. Even as he was literally dying, he could make me laugh.” (Among Aaron’s final words to his wife: “I will always be with you … so you need to stop picking your nose.”)

It was a moment she remembers with levity, plucked out of an unbearable time. During these past few years—plagued by political strife, social unrest, and, well, an actual plague—many of us have struggled to even briefly escape morose moods. But experts say that incorporating just a little bit of joy into our lives can disproportionately enhance our well-being by reducing the risk of chronic illness, strengthening the immune system, and combating stress.

“I think joy feels sometimes like a really big emotion—like crazy happiness,” McInerny says. “But it can be a small point of light in the darkness. It doesn’t have to be throwing the light on in the dark.”

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https://api.time.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/Health1.jpgIllustrations by Brown Bird Design for TIME

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Click the link below for the article:

https://time.com/6216726/how-to-find-joy-dark-times/?utm_source=pocket_discover_self-improvement

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