James' World 2

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In 2012, I was working at a hotel in Glacier National Park when a man I’d just met invited me for a day of tubing and drinking beer on the river. Little did I know, I would nearly drown in the rapids. 

But this story doesn’t begin in the water. 

This story begins at Many Glacier Hotel the night before the start of the summer season. The employees, most of us new to each other, new to Glacier, gathered in a basement theater space typically reserved for a folk singer who performed songs about mountaineering. A seasoned National Park Service ranger stood before us in the usual wide-brimmed hat and stiff green trousers. 

“Glacier National Park is dangerous,” she said. “And every year, there are fatalities. Climbing accidents, deadly encounters with animals. Some of you have experience in nature. Some of you are new to it. Either way, statistically, one of you will die this summer.” 

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Alpen Glow hits Grinnell Point and Mt. Gould reflected in Swiftcurrent Lake, Glacier National Park, Montana. Photo by Matt Champlin (Getty Images).

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When I meet other parents, their first question is usually: “Where do your kids go to school?” There are more “advantaged” schools in our town where attendance supposedly equates to higher test scores, better opportunities, and — as the thinking goes — college success.

But I was a university academic advisor for six years. Every year, I heard things like “I’m burned out from high school,” or,  “I failed my first test. What should I do?”

These are students who did everything right when it came to preparing for college. Here’s what I’ve come to understand from my years working with students about our markers for success.

AP classes may be overrated

AP classes give students college credit if they get certain scores on expensive AP tests. AP credits usually replace a university’s general education — also known as gen-ed — requirements. If a student comes in with AP English, US History, Economics, Art, and Calculus credits, most of their gen-ed courses are covered.

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When Cordelia realized her marriage was over, she didn’t pack up and move out—she went to her then-husband and told him she wanted to start the process of breaking up. Thirteen months of therapy later (individual therapy for herself and her husband, couples therapy together, and therapy for each of their two adolescent children), they finally separated. She remembers a dinner with friends during that time where she cried out of frustration because they insisted she was dragging out the breakup and should just get on with her life. But after a 13-year marriage and two children, Cordelia (who asked that her last name be withheld since her divorce is ongoing) felt that the breakup deserved all the time and counseling necessary for every party involved to move on in the kindest way possible.

“I have to do this the way I think is the right way, which is slowly and carefully, and not rush any decision that I might regret later,” Cordelia told me about her thinking at the time. She remembers the relationship as being good, in many ways: Her ex was faithful, financially secure, and a good father. Ultimately, though, she just didn’t see a future together. Although she and her ex both went into counseling, the idea wasn’t to try to stay together—it was to figure out how to part amicably. Many long-term relationships follow a painfully cliché playbook when they end: Have a big fight; move out; fight over your stuff; never speak again; begin to hate each other; talk badly about each other to your friends; etc. But more people breaking up today are reconsidering the best way to end a relationship, including how to honor their time together.

Breakup counseling has become noticeably more common in recent years, according to Matt Lundquist, a psychotherapist in New York whose practice also specializes in couples therapy. He attributes the rise, yes, in part to Gwyneth Paltrow’s 2014 popularization of the term conscious uncoupling, but also to some of what Cordelia detailed: The idea of what a marriage could and should be has changed. “I think that the barrier to divorce … has gone down,” Lundquist told me. Although many couples used to divorce only under extreme circumstances—infidelity, violence, emotional abuse—he said, more couples today are willing to consider divorce “even in scenarios where things aren’t necessarily dire but are nonetheless not working for them.”

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As the reasons for ending relationships change, so too are the ways people end them. (Ben Hickey)

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The line between what “could” and “should” be kept in the fridge can be furrier than a year-old jar of pesto.

A survey by Which? found that just one in five of the people surveyed checked a condiment’s label to see where it should be stored. Marriages have exploded, families have warred and housemates have done unspeakable things with toothbrushes over the kinds of arguments that can erupt over whether ketchup should be kept in the fridge or the cupboard.

The Love Food Hate Waste campaign has a fairly definitive A-Z of food storage on its website, full of interesting titbits such as “tucking in” your mushrooms under a tea towel in the fridge. Adorable.

According to the site, eggs are best kept in the fridge. Bananas and uncooked pineapple should live in the fruit bowl, but most other fresh fruit and vegetables can be given an extended shelf life by being refrigerated. Just be sure, they suggest, to bring them back up to room temperature before cooking or eating to increase the flavor.

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Apples last much longer when stored in the fridge. Photo from artpartner-images / Getty Images.

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