James' World 2

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Eliciting sympathy and demanding attention are pretty common tactics in the course of your average relationship – but they become especially problematic when a narcissist is involved. 

“Micromanipulation” is one in an armory of emotional tools that narcissists typically use to regain control over their partners during arguments or a trial separation, according to an eye-opening new article on the topic.

Writing in Psychology Today, Professor Kristy Lee Hochenberger explains that “narcissists cannot accept the fact that another person does not want to be with them”. So, if they sense their partner is pulling away, they will go to extreme lengths to wrestle them back. 

Often this will involve direct manipulation – for example, threatening self-harm, which Hochenberger describes as a common and very scary response to someone wanting to regain control in a relationship that’s heading south. 

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Photos by Getty Images/iStock

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The winner of our college essay contest explores how for her Syrian family, scattered by war, a WhatsApp group chat — rife with silly videos and often regrettable photos — is everything.

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Brian Rea

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As a parent, one of the most impactful things you can do is acknowledge your kids’ achievements and healthy habits. This is when you put your empathy muscles to work to encourage good behavior, self-confidence, and self-worth in your kids.

It’s important to accept, however, that no one is born perfect — your child will ultimately make bad choices. It’s how you handle and respond to the situation that determines whether or not they’ll make better decisions and develop healthy habits going forward.

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At the beginning of the pandemic, I used to wake up frequently with an elevated heart rate, one eye barely open, already feeling like I’d lived an entire day, percolating with anxiety and dread before I’d even put a foot on the floor. There were an infinite number of moments when I was nursing a newborn with one arm, cradling a toddler with the other, and tapping out an email with whichever hand could best reach my laptop without disturbing this precarious scene.

In those days, I was utterly consumed by the act of mothering, engulfed in the relentless flames of parenthood in a way I had never anticipated. I also assumed I was totally alone in this experience. Only when we started admitting to each other out loud — on social media, in trend pieces, in our group chats — that parents, and moms, in particular, were not okay did it become clear how ruptured everything had become for all of us.

But it also felt like something important and necessary was being shattered around the idea of what a “mom” should be and how much she should carry.

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Photo-Illustration: by the Cut; Photos Getty Images

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Terra Ziporyn Snider of Severna Park, Maryland, still remembers how difficult it was for her son to wake up for his 7:17 a.m. first-period class when he was in high school. There were times he’d turn on the shower, then head back to bed while waiting for the water to warm up, only to fall back asleep. One morning, he made it out the door but didn’t get far: He backed the car into the garage door because he’d forgotten to open it.

That was in 2012. And though the morning travails of her kids’ high-school years had prompted Ziporyn Snider to co-found the national nonprofit Start School Later around the same time, the school is only now set to shift to an 8:30 a.m. start time, effective this fall.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), which has called for later school start times since 2014, recommends that middle and high schools start no earlier than 8:30 a.m. But until recently, there’s been a patchwork approach to meeting that recommendation. The result: While various districts, cities, and counties have opted to make changes, the majority of middle and high schools still start too early. These start times make it nearly impossible for teens, whose body clock tends to shift to a later schedule at the onset of puberty, to get the eight to 10 hours of sleep recommended for their health and well-being.

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Getty / The Atlantic

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In a new video on his YouTube channel, bodybuilder and physique coach Paul Revelia shares some simple advice for losing belly fat which he believes can be useful whether you’re a bodybuilder in a cut, or at the very start of your journey.

Firstly, he suggests using an app to track what you’re eating. “I wouldn’t recommend making any changes right away; in fact, do the opposite,” he says. “Go about your normal day, just start being accountable.” The commonly accepted wisdom is to eat a gram of protein per pound of your body weight. Revelia, on the other hand, believes you should be eating a gram of protein per pound of your goal weight.

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Lose Belly Fat

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In Silicon Valley, techies are swooning over tarot-card readers. In New York, you can hook up to a “detox” IV at a lounge. In the Midwest, the Neurocore Brain Performance Center markets brain training for everything from ADHD, anxiety, and depression to migraines, stress, autism spectrum disorder, athletic performance, memory, and cognition. And online, companies like Goop promote “8 Crystals For Better Energy” and a detox-delivery meal kit, complete with “nutritional supplements, probiotics, detox and beauty tinctures, and beauty and detox teas.” Across the country, everyone is looking for a cure for what ails them, which has led to a booming billion-dollar industry—what I’ve come to call the Wellness Industrial Complex.

The problem is that so much of what’s sold in the name of modern-day wellness has little to no evidence of working. Which doesn’t mean that wellness isn’t a real thing. According to decades of research, wellness is a lifestyle or state of being that goes beyond merely the absence of disease and into the realm of maximizing human potential. Once someone’s basic needs are met (e.g., food and shelter), scientists say that wellness emerges from nourishing six dimensions of your health: physical, emotional, cognitive, social, spiritual, and environmental. According to research published in 1997 in The American Journal of Health Promotion, these dimensions are closely intertwined. Evidence suggests that they work together to create a sum that is greater than its parts.

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Wellness isn’t that complicated. Illustrations by Marta Pantaleo.

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