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Stay off social media.
Lose 20 pounds.
Make $1 million in sales.
Do these kinds of goals ignite you into action or cause you to recoil in dread? For some, direct, concrete wording is motivating, clarifying, and effective. For others, this verbiage makes them want to give up before they’ve even started. If you find yourself in the latter category, a kinder, more self-compassionate approach to wording your goals may be the best approach for you.
Talking to yourself in a self-compassionate tone supports the achievement of your goals in multiple ways. For one, it can help you normalize any negative feelings around your goals because it acknowledges that discomfort is a natural part of the human experience. Self-compassion can also allow you to let go of paralyzing perfectionism because it leaves room for human fallibility and frailty — the acknowledgement that we all make mistakes sometimes, and that’s okay. And self-compassion can help you to stick with your goals by heightening your ability to recover from setbacks instead of getting stuck in endless rumination about what went wrong.
In short, self-compassion could be the difference between giving up on your goals (or avoiding them completely) and achieving them step by step — even when that may require a few steps back before you move forward again.
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