James' World 2

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“There is no such thing as conversation,” the novelist and literary critic Rebecca West famously wrote in her collection of stories, The Harsh Voice. “It is an illusion. There are intersecting monologues, that is all.” In her opinion, our own words simply pass over the words of others without any profound communication taking place. 

Who has not been able to empathize with this sentiment at some point in their life? Whether we’re making small talk with a barista, or meeting up with a close friend, we may hope to make a connection, only to leave the conversation feeling that our minds have failed to meet. 

The pandemic has surely heightened our awareness of these sensations. After long periods of isolation, our hunger for social contact is greater than ever – and it is even more disappointing to feel that a void remains between us and others, even when rules of physical distancing have been lifted. 

If this rings true for you, help may be at hand. During the past few years, psychologists studying the art of conversation have identified many of the barriers that stand in the way of a deeper connection, and the ways to remove them. Read on for the top five steps to better conversation. 

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I need a vacation.

I know I’m not the only one feeling this right now. It’s a sentiment I’ve been hearing a lot from friends and on social media, and it’s no surprise given the strange and stressful circumstances we find ourselves in. The unpredictability of the pandemic and the global economy, coupled with the strain of adjusting to new realities of work, childcare, and school, have almost everyone I know craving an escape.

Yet with travel restricted in many places, a carefree getaway isn’t in the cards for most people.

Still, vacations are an important part of well-being. One study, for example, showed that when men at risk for heart disease didn’t take annual vacations, they had a 32 percent higher risk of having a fatal heart attack than those who did. Likewise, a study of women showed that those who took vacation rarely — i.e., once every six years or less often — were eight times more likely to develop heart disease. Other studies have shown an increase in sleep quality and an improvement in reaction times of up to 80 percent after taking a vacation.

Still, other research has shown that regular vacations are more important than money to overall well-being, so much that a regular vacationer making less than $24,000 a year might even be happier than a non-vacationer making more than $120,000 a year.

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Avalon Nuovo

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Neal W. Zoromski has spent three decades in Hollywood, working on movies big and small, but never on a western. So he was thrilled last month when he was asked to join the crew of an Alec Baldwin film in New Mexico.

The veteran prop master immediately told “Rust” production managers that he was interested in the job that would give him responsibility for the accoutrements of the Old West. Pistols, rifles, wagons, saddles, and flour sacks were needed to re-create 1880s Kansas for Baldwin, who was playing a grizzled outlaw named Harland Rust.

But during four days of informal discussions with film managers, Zoromski said he got a “bad feeling.”

“There were massive red flags,” he said in an interview Sunday with The Times.

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Thinking about taking a Friday off to go to the beach, take a hike, or just sprawl on the couch reading and drinking iced coffee? Do it on a Wednesday instead.

If Monday through Friday is your normal work schedule, you’ll feel more relaxed and refreshed after a mid-week break than you will after a three-day weekend. There’s science to back that up.

The key is giving yourself a beat, a day to make your own pace, and to break the tyranny of the over-scheduled work week. Our human experience of time is ordered by “pacers,” both internal (like being a “morning person” or a “night owl”) and external, like the workweek or a deadline, says Dawna Ballard, a communications professor at University of Texas at Austin and a scholar of chronemics, the study of time and communication. “Everyone has a different chronotype. Some people are slower moving, some people are faster moving,” she told me over the phone. “Our work, though, just goes and throws that out the window and says actually, this is how fast you have to work, this is when you have to work.”

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AP Photo/Jens Meyer.

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It’s official: burnout is a real condition. On May 25, the World Health Organization (WHO) formally defined the syndrome as energy depletion, exhaustion, and negativity resulting from chronic workplace stress.

Taking a vacation when you feel burnt out is probably one of the most common remedies. Unfortunately, time away from the office isn’t always as stress-free as it sounds. A 2018 survey from the American Psychological Association (APA) found that 21% of U.S. adults felt stressed during their time off and 28% worked more than they thought they would on vacation — and this can have detrimental effects. Working while you’re supposed to be unwinding can negatively impact your relationships, take you away from the present moment and sink your mood, research finds.

In short: “Blurred boundaries between work and time off can be bad for your health,” says Kathleen Hall, founder, and CEO of the Mindful Living Network and the Stress Institute.

In order to relax fully on vacation, psychology experts say your employer must respect that time off (and your boundaries) while you’re away. But no matter your situation at work, these six strategies can help you unplug — and find a little more R&R — while you’re on vacation.

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Because of lockdowns and travel restrictions, the potential for days off was limited. Many felt like vacation time would be wasted if it wasn’t spent traveling. But now with the world’s borders reopening for tourism, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention saying that vaccinated people are able to travel with less risk, taking PTO is looking more appealing than ever.

After a year of not going anywhere, travelers may have forgotten best practices for requesting time off — or have new anxieties due to the pandemic. Here’s what to keep in mind as you begin putting in your vacation requests.

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