James' World 2

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Are you tackling a new and difficult problem at work? Recently promoted and trying to both understand your new role and bring a fresh perspective? Or are you new to the workforce and seeking ways to meaningfully contribute alongside your more experienced colleagues? If so, critical thinking — the ability to analyze and effectively break down an issue in order to make a decision or find a solution — will be core to your success. And at the heart of critical thinking is the ability to formulate deep, different, and effective questions.

Consider this: Clayton M. Christensen was perhaps the greatest management thinker of the last 30 years. His “How Will You Measure Your Life” is a Harvard Business Review bestseller and one of the five best articles on personal development I’ve read, and his theories on innovation and disruption changed business. But my most memorable encounter with Christensen was a talk at Harvard Business School where he discussed his own approach to his time as an MBA student decades before.

He said HBS was where he learned to ask great questions. Impressed with his classmates, he would carry a notebook to class and write down the most insightful questions other students asked. He’d then go home and reflect on how and why the students had formulated them. Ever curious, Christensen laid the foundation for his future insights by first studying the process by which people formulated their best queries.

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Most people underestimate how our small daily actions shape our future. They think that big life changes lead to huge differences in our lives, but they don’t pay much attention to what they do every single day.

Yet, the truth is, what we do (or don’t do) day after day determines how we feel and what we end up creating (or destroying).

Big decisions like if (and who) you marry, where you live, which job you take, and whether you have kids or not can indeed change the course of your life. But these decisions are mostly once-in-a-lifetime.

The tiny decisions we make day after day, however, come with smaller risks, yet, they can have an equally significant impact on the trajectory of our lives.

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The shooting at Robb Elementary occurred the morning of the school’s second to last day of the semester. An 18-year-old gunman, who according to officials had shot his grandmother and crashed his vehicle near the campus, “was shooting everybody” when he entered the building, which housed second, third, and fourth-graders.

“Once again, we have tragically proven that we are failing to be responsible for the rights our freedoms grant us,” McConaughey wrote in a statement just after midnight that appeared on his social media platforms. 

He said that people need to “rearrange our values” so that people can find common ground “above this devastating American reality that has tragically become our children’s issue.” 

“The true call to action now is for every American to take a longer and deeper look in the mirror, and ask ourselves, ‘What is it that we truly value? How do we repair the problem? What small sacrifices can we individually take today, to preserve a healthier and safer nation, state, and neighborhood tomorrow?'” he wrote. “We can’t exhale once again, make excuses, and accept these tragic realities as the status quo.”

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Kristen’s 12-year relationship with her best friend Heather was put to the test during the pandemic. (Both women’s names have been changed at Kristen’s request to protect their privacy.) Their experiences during the past few years couldn’t have felt more different: Kristen, a single, 35-year-old behavioral researcher in San Francisco, was unbearably lonely during the lockdown. Her best friend, Heather, also 35, married and living in Los Angeles, gave birth to her first child. Kristen expected Heather’s priorities to shift as she adjusted to being a new mom, but Kristen wasn’t prepared for how upsetting it would feel to be shuffled to an outer ring of her best friend’s life precisely when she needed Heather most.

They tried to keep in touch, agreeing to hop on a phone call every other Sunday at 8 am. But Heather was a no-show week after week. “She just would get really busy and overwhelmed and kind of just forget about me,” Kristen says. With every phone date Heather blew off, Kristen’s resentment grew. “It just got so painful that I was like, ‘This is not working,’” she says.

As we juggle the demands of this ongoing pandemic, friendships have shifted in all sorts of unexpected ways. Many people now seem to have less stamina for socializing, says Kat Vellos, author of We Should Get Together, a book about cultivating friendships in adulthood. Vellos believes folks became used to having smaller social circles, and some realized they prefer keeping it that way. As a result, these people might be more choosy about the friendships they do invest time in. That’s mostly a good thing, but it can be painful for the people who are hurt that they are no longer a priority.

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