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Last night I attempted (rather unsuccessfully) to sleep through the sound of my son’s incessant coughing from his bedroom. (Far too) Soon, I woke up to a hungry baby, and one daughter who needed help getting ready for dance camp, while another wanted a ride to the gym. It was all in a matter of 10 minutes.
Upon returning from the urgent gym run, I could no longer put off a growing list of doctor and dentist appointments to schedule. At the same time, emails are flooding my inbox about summer math modules, practice schedule changes, and fees for upcoming clinics.
The day ahead is packed with carpools, errands, feedings, and meals to plan and prepare. All I can think is, “Just let me get through this day.”
This is why I completely relate to the sentiments in a new report from Duckbill and The Harris Poll. They surveyed American parents and found that most of us (65%) are “just getting through the day” rather than enjoying it.1 Interestingly, while married parents who make more than $100,000 are slightly less burdened by the tasks of modern life, half still report that they are just doing their best to get through the day, too.
As a mom of six, days like the one I mentioned are not the exception. They are the rule. I rush around trying to make life happen for my family. I’m constantly pulled away from conversations and thoughts by requests to find a Lego and questions like, “What can I do?” or “What can I eat?”
Through it all, I’m also responsible for uplifting six people with problems ranging from getting a boo-boo to getting their heart broken. It’s exhausting and leaves little time to focus on myself.
Finding Joy Amid the Chaos of Modern Parenting
Not all is lost, however. Given that this study and others are finally shining a light on parents’ mental load, a major benefit has emerged: We are also being encouraged to start thinking about ways to refocus our attention on joy.
Here’s what I try and focus on—even when it feels impossible on some days.
Remembering that this, too, shall pass
For me, seeing how quickly my kids are growing up gives me an immense sense of appreciation for just how fleeting this time with them really is.
My oldest is about to head off to college—although I swear it was only a few years ago she was a little girl dressing up in Disney princess dresses and asking for string cheese. I also have younger children, with my littlest being just 5 months old.
The kids’ big age gap puts a lot in perspective, and I am able to actually enjoy their challenging stages, rather than just wishing they would move on from teething, tantrums, or middle school. It’ll be over way too soon, I now realize.
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Photo: Parents/GettyImages/LordHenriVoton
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