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A couple of years ago, following the publication of my book The Art of Decision Making (2019), I took part in the BBC Radio 4 program ‘Should I Stay or Should I Go?’ named after the 1981 hit song by the Clash. This is the question we face time and time again, whether it applies to a relationship, a job, the home we inhabit, or any other critical dilemma.

My work as an executive coach involves helping people make these tough decisions for themselves and ultimately by themselves. Unlike a mentor, this is not about giving advice. It is about giving people the tools and confidence to trust their own choices and to act upon them.

In this Guide, I will give you an overview of some of these tools and techniques, and how you can use them to accelerate and improve your decision-making.

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Most of us have been told to “Cheer up” or “Look on the bright side” by well-meaning family and friends. Sometimes, it’s because they see us looking sad, angry, anxious, or frustrated, but it can also happen because we look pensive, uncertain, or just about any state other than joyful. While we may be tempted to tell them “Stuff it,” we don’t because, well, feelings.

Next time, feel free to do so (but please be polite). “Being positive has become a new form of moral correctness,” says psychologist Susan David, founder, and co-director of the Institute of Coaching at McLean Hospital of Harvard University Medical School, an instructor in psychology at Harvard, and author of Emotional Agility (read an excerpt here).

Suppressing or turning away from our difficult emotions is not healthy or helpful, says David. “What happens is, it undermines our ability to deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be,” she says. “This is associated with lower levels of resilience, lower levels of wellbeing, and higher levels of depression and anxiety. And it also impacts our relationships and our ability to achieve our goals.”

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There’s one question I hear as a personal finance writer more than any other. It’s not how to game the stock market, or become a billionaire—it’s simply how to make a budget work while still saving enough to retire comfortably.

And of course, it’s simple: Change your habits so you can put money aside for the things that matter to you. But that’s also really, really hard to do.

That’s because understanding personal finance is an uphill battle for many Americans. We’re not taught about the practicalities of money in school, because the truth is many industries profit from our ignorance. While wages have hardly budged in decades, shareholders and CEOs have never been richer. The cost of living in many major cities is prohibitive to just about anyone but the super privileged, or those willing to take on a lot of debt or make enormous sacrifices. While the stock market soars, just 52% of U.S. adults actually owned stock in 2016, according to Gallup, and the wealthiest 1% of households owned 38% of all stock shares in 2013. The government is actively working against consumers to make it easier for financial institutions to prey on its citizens, and a single medical bill can send a person into debt for the rest of their life.

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