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Anyone who has ever taken an economics class has heard the phrase, “There’s no such thing as a free lunch.”

It means that everything has a cost, even if that cost is not always immediately apparent. To achieve anything, you must give up something else.

In today’s happiness-obsessed culture, most pursue just the opposite: we want to know how to be happy with no costs, all benefits. We want the rewards without the risks, the gain without the pain.

But ironically, it’s this unwillingness to sacrifice anything, to give up anything, that makes us more miserable.

As with anything else, happiness has costs. It is not free. And despite what Cover Girl or Tony Robbins or the Dalai Lama once told you, it’s not always easy breezy figuring out how to be happy either.

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Happiness

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Click the link below for the article:

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-hidden-costs-of-happiness?utm_source=pocket_discover

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Chances are you know a whole lot about your partner. What makes them laugh, what makes them seethe, what makes them blush. You probably know their dessert of choice, coffee preference, and that story from their childhood by heart. And the list of other things you know by heart is likely quite long because of course it is. You share a life with them and likely have more insight into who they truly are than anyone else. 

But there’s always more to learn. And when playing a round of “How Well Do You Know Your Spouse?” it’s wise to have rock-solid answers to some other questions at the ready. About what brings them joy, what’s caused them pain, and what’s still on their bucket list. Questions that touch on the past, present, and future, because an awareness of all three is crucial, and understanding the answers will help you and your relationship in more ways than one. 

Why? Now knowing the answers to these questions won’t necessarily solve problems, but it will give you a heads-up on what drives your partner. And when you understand the whys, you have a better understanding of why they react to certain things the way they do. With that knowledge, you become more empathetic, so the person you love feels loved, and possibilities for changing become more possible, since the explicit and implicit message is, “We’re in it together.”

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Answers

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How much do you read?

For most of my adult life, I read maybe five books a year — if I was lucky. I’d read a couple on vacation and I’d always have a few slow burners hanging around the bedside table for months.

And then, one year, I surprised myself by reading 50 books. This year I’m on pace for 100. I’ve never felt more creatively alive in all areas of my life. I feel more interesting, I feel like a better father, and my writing output has dramatically increased. Amplifying my reading rate has been the domino that’s tipped over a slew of others.

I’m disappointed that I didn’t do it sooner.

Why did I wait 20 years?

Well, our world today is designed for shallow skimming rather than deep diving, so it took me some time to identify the specific changes that skyrocketed my reading rate. None of them had to do with how fast I read. I’m actually a pretty slow reader.

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Reading

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