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Kitchen sinking refers to the tendency for partners to bring up a list of past grievances and unrelated issues during arguments, diverting attention from the current topic of discussion. This cluttered mix of complaints, criticisms, and unresolved issues make it difficult to address the original concern effectively.
This communication pattern is detrimental to relationships because it muddles the core issue, leading to confusion and emotional overwhelm. By inundating discussions with past grievances, partners may feel invalidated or attacked, hindering open and constructive dialogue.
Consequently, kitchen sinking can escalate conflict and erode trust and intimacy, fostering an atmosphere of defensiveness and misunderstanding rather than promoting resolution and mutual respect in relationships.
Here are five ways to stop “kitchen sinking” your partner and work through conflict healthily.
1. Be Intentional
Before engaging in important discussions, decide on the specific issue you want to address and remain mindful of where the conversation is going. Bring yourself back to the present when you catch yourself recollecting different negative instances or feeling the need to bring them up. Avoid blaming, criticizing, and using aggressive language or tone to assert dominance or control.
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Here’s how to avoid letting relationship issues build up and explode at the wrong time. Getty
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