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Why Your Kid’s Bad Behavior May Be a Good Thing

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There was a moment over Thanksgiving break when my 7-year-old bossily instructed her 76-year-old grandfather, whom she rarely sees, to “stop taking pictures and put down your camera,” and boy, I wished I could hide under the dining room table for the rest of the evening. I wondered: What kind of child am I raising? I would never have dared to speak to my grandfather that way. Am I failing as a parent if my kid is sometimes rude, or even defiant?

We all know friends or relatives who would unequivocally say, “yes.” In their generation, they say, children knew their place and respected their elders. I certainly try to teach my kids about respect, and we talk ad nauseam about table manners and saying “please” and “thank you.” Still, the relationship many parents today have with their kids feels substantially different from parent-child relationships decades ago.

Much has been written about the shift in recent years toward more intensive, child-centered parenting, and one byproduct is that many parents today are less likely to bark out orders and punish their kids. They are more likely to empathize and engage in dialogue. Because of this, many children today feel more comfortable around adults, and they are more willing to challenge them and speak up when they feel the impulse.

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https://static01.nyt.com/images/2021/12/09/well/00well-kids-misbehave-good/00well-kids-misbehave-good-jumbo.jpg?quality=75&auto=webpAmélie Fontaine

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Click the link below for the article:

https://www.nytimes.com

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Personally_Political
    Dec 23, 2021 @ 23:28:10

    I think the change in style of parenting has to be a positive one because then it teaches children that they can confide in their parents with less fear, nonetheless some discipline is still important but this is very different to inappropriate punishment.

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    Reply

    • Mohenjo
      Dec 25, 2021 @ 14:20:36

      I agree, inappropriate punishment is not good!

      Like

      Reply

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