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5 Ways To Stop ‘Kitchen Sinking’ Your Partner For A Better Love Life

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Kitchen sinking refers to the tendency for partners to bring up a list of past grievances and unrelated issues during arguments, diverting attention from the current topic of discussion. This cluttered mix of complaints, criticisms, and unresolved issues make it difficult to address the original concern effectively.

This communication pattern is detrimental to relationships because it muddles the core issue, leading to confusion and emotional overwhelm. By inundating discussions with past grievances, partners may feel invalidated or attacked, hindering open and constructive dialogue.

Consequently, kitchen sinking can escalate conflict and erode trust and intimacy, fostering an atmosphere of defensiveness and misunderstanding rather than promoting resolution and mutual respect in relationships.

Here are five ways to stop “kitchen sinking” your partner and work through conflict healthily.

1. Be Intentional

Before engaging in important discussions, decide on the specific issue you want to address and remain mindful of where the conversation is going. Bring yourself back to the present when you catch yourself recollecting different negative instances or feeling the need to bring them up. Avoid blaming, criticizing, and using aggressive language or tone to assert dominance or control.

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Here’s how to avoid letting relationship issues build up and explode at the wrong time.  Getty

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Click the link below for the article:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2024/04/12/5-ways-to-stop-kitchen-sinking-your-partner-for-a-better-love-life/?utm_source=pocket_discover_self-improvement&sh=731f581816d3

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Is the Earth itself a giant living creature?

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In the 1970s, chemist James Lovelock and microbiologist Lynn Margulis put forth a bold theory: The Earth is a giant living organism.

When a mammal is hot, it sweats to cool itself off. If you nick your skin with a knife, the skin will scab and heal. Lovelock and Margulis argued that our planet has similar processes of self-regulation, which, arguably, make it seem like the Earth itself is alive.

The idea wasn’t unprecedented in human history. “The fundamental concept of a living world is ancient,” says Ferris Jabr, a science journalist and author of the upcoming book Becoming Earth: How Our Planet Came to Life. The book explores all the ways life has shaped our physical world and, in doing so, inevitably revisits the question “Is the Earth alive?”

Lovelock and Margulis called the idea “the Gaia Hypothesis” — named after the ancient Greek goddess of the Earth. It was openly mocked by many in mainstream Western science. “For many decades, the Gaia hypothesis was considered kind of this fringe sort of woo-woo idea,” Jabr says. “Because for biologists,” Jabr says, life is a specific thing. “It is typically thought of as an organism that is a product of Darwinian evolution by natural selection. And Earth as a planet does not meet those criteria.”

It didn’t help that the original articulation of Gaia granted Earth a certain degree of sentience. The hypothesis argued “all of the living organisms on Earth are collaborating to deliberately create a climate that is suitable for life,” as Jabr says. But yet, this idea has persisted, for a few reasons. Scientists have never been able to precisely define what life is. So, it’s been hard to dismiss Gaia completely.

The Gaia hypothesis has also evolved over the years. Later iterations deemphasized that life was “collaborating” to transform the Earth, Jabr explains. Which still leaves a lot to be explored: Certainly living things don’t need to be thought of as conscious, or have agency, to be considered alive. Consider the clam, which lacks a central nervous system.

Jabr found in the years since Gaia was first introduced, scientists have uncovered more connections between biology, ecology, and geology, which make the boundaries between these disciplines appear even more fuzzy. The Amazon rainforest essentially “summons” its own rain, as Jabr explains in his book. They learned how life is involved in the process that generated the continents. Life plays a role in regulating Earth’s temperature. They’ve learned that just about everywhere you look on Earth, you find life influencing the physical properties of our planet.

In reporting his book, Jabr comes to the conclusion that not only is the Earth indeed a living creature, but thinking about it in such a way might help inspire action in dealing with the climate crisis.

Brian Resnick spoke to Jabr for an episode of Unexplainable, Vox’s podcast that explores scientific mysteries, unanswered questions, and all the things we learn by diving into the unknown. You can listen to the full conversation here. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

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https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/tl09ondzhdTEX-EC09Bq_2WPOos=/0x0:1920x1080/1820x1024/filters:focal(807x387:1113x693):format(webp)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/73295619/RachelHillis_Vox.0.jpgRachel Victoria Hillis for Vox

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Click the link below for the article:

https://www.vox.com/climate/24118151/gaia-hypothesis-ferris-jabr-book-becoming-earth

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Lithium, the Elemental Rebel

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Inside every rechargeable battery—in electric cars and phones and robot vacuums—lurks a cosmic mystery. The lithium that we use to power much of our lives these days is so common as to seem almost prosaic. But this element turns out to be a wild card, a rebel that’s been challenging our most basic understanding of the formation of the universe itself. 

Beyond the lithium ion-powered batteries, beyond the glass and ceramic manufacture, optical systems, air purification, fireworks and rocket propellants, nuclear weapons, and mood stabilizing pills, lithium is cast about the cosmos. But there is not nearly as much of it out there as there should be. And we don’t know why. 

This wily little element has defied explanation for generations, refusing to obey the rest of our cosmological orthodoxy. The robust Big Bang theory, among other accomplishments, allows us to precisely predict the abundances of all of the light elements across the universe.

Except lithium.

Which means there might be something wrong with our understanding of the Big Bang. There might be something wrong with our measurements. There might be something wrong with both. Or this might be a signal that there are new, as-yet undiscovered forces that were at work in the early universe. Whatever the solution is, this rebel and its so-called “cosmological lithium problem” are here to teach us a radical new fact about the universe.

We just have to figure it out.

Here on Earth, lithium had laid underfoot since the planet’s formation, with nobody suspecting that the element even existed. Taken from the Greek word for “rock,” on Earth, lithium is usually only found in trace amounts in larger mineral conglomerations. In 1800, the Brazilian chemist José Bonifácio de Andrada e Silva discovered it as a new ore on the island of Uto, Sweden. Seventeen years later, the chemist Jöns Jakob Berzelius isolated the new element within the ore. Since then, the silvery-white metal has found itself making possible so many of our contemporary luxuries.

But most of the universe’s lithium is bound up inside of stars.

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https://assets.nautil.us/sites/3/nautilus/ljDVlofj-Sutter_HERO.png?q=65&auto=format&w=1200What a missing element can teach us about the universe.

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Click the link below for the article:

https://nautil.us

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The Top 5 Longreads of the Week (new set)

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This is tricky, click each title 1 through 5 for the long read desired, and close the new tab when you’re finished, then choose the next title. Enjoy!

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A glimpse into this week’s list:

  • Forcibly displacing the Maasai tribe in the name of “conservation.”
  • The death of an Alabama pastor—and the grief of the community he left behind.
  • Studying Alaska’s little brown bats.
  • A dispatch from a conference on artificial intelligence.
  • Remembering Shaun of the Dead, 20 years later.

1. The Great Serengeti Land Grab

Stephanie McCrummen | The Atlantic | April 8, 2024 | 8,385 words

The pastoral, semi-nomadic Maasai have lived on their land in northern Tanzania since the 17th century. But under the guise of conservation and modernization, the Tanzanian government is resettling the tribe, destroying their compounds and seizing their cattle—in other words, erasing their traditional way of life.

etc, etc, etc,. —CLR

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https://i0.wp.com/longreads.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/little-brown-bat-with-green-background.png?resize=1200%2C700&ssl=1

Myotis lucifugus (little brown bat). Image by Joe McDonald/Getty Images.

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Click the link below for the five articles:

https://longreads.co

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Missed News 490A

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News You might have missed!

Use your browser or smartphone back arrow (<-) to return to this table for your next selection.

 

Some news you might have missed!

>Click Title of Item You Wish to Select<

NEWS NEWS
According to an NBC News Poll, President Biden is leading Donald Trump by 9 points among actual voters. Spread this everywhere so the media can’t ignore.
Republican Confronted With Donald Trump’s Signed Checks to Michael Cohen Giant Lake Returns 130 Years After Vanishing
Oldest Known Nativity Scene Found in Egyptian Desert Predates Christianity “The situation is worsening,” a resident said of the growing piles of garbage outside the home
Taiwan earthquake: Dozens stuck in tunnels after biggest quake in 25 years Impact of the biggest earthquake to hit Taiwan in 25 years
The Israel-Gaza war is at a crossroads Charity boss José Andrés says Israel targeted staff ‘systematically, car by car’
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Mucus is gross. But here are 9 things you should know about it.

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Sorry, gross…

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Mucus is not widely considered a topic for polite conversation. It’s something to be discreetly blown into a tissue, folded up, and thrown away.

But the simple truth is that without mucus, you wouldn’t be alive.

“Mucus is essential for the protection of your body,” says Jeffrey Spiegel, an ear, nose, and throat surgeon at Boston University. “It’s a protective barrier, and it allows you to breathe comfortably. If you had no mucus, you’d be quite sorry you didn’t.”

Given how important mucus is — and how often colds and allergies cause mucus-related symptoms — it’s worth learning a bit more about it.

1) You produce about 1.5 quarts of mucus a day — and swallow the vast majority

Most of us think of mucus as something that leaks from our nose, but the truth is that it also gets secreted in your trachea and other tubes that carry air through your lungs, where it’s technically called phlegm. Wherever it’s produced, mucus is a mix of water and proteins, and most of it gets pushed to the back of your throat by microscopic hairs called cilia.

Whether you’re aware of it or not, you’re constantly swallowing all this mucus, and it harmlessly ends up in your stomach. “You’re swallowing, on average, twice a minute — even when you’re sleeping at night,” says Michael Ellis, an ear, nose, and throat doctor at Tulane University.

Ellis says that, on average, a person produces about 1.5 quarts of mucus per day, and contrary to what you might think, it doesn’t vary by all that much. But that mucus gets diluted by a separate, watery secretion (called serous fluid), which can vary widely based on your health.

2) Mucus is basically the body’s flypaper

Mucus has two main functions: it keeps the nasal cavity and the other airways inside your body moist, preventing them from drying out due to all the air that flows over them. (Relatedly, the serous fluid that mucus is mixed with also moistens the air itself before it enters the lungs.)

Mucus’ other function, though, might surprise you. “Mucus is kind of like flypaper,” Ellis says. “Debris that comes into the nose or throat sticks to it, and then you swallow it, so it doesn’t get into your lungs.”

Mucus, in other words, is nature’s filter for your delicate lungs. The bacteria, dust, and other tiny particles that you breathe in get stuck in mucus and pulled down into your stomach, where they’re destroyed by enzymes.

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https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/tSB6FpRHbWMWCUC2XaVb7o5r4zU=/0x0:3888x2916/1220x813/filters:focal(0x0:3888x2916):format(webp)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/45663604/shutterstock_231805510.0.0.jpg(Shutterstock.com)

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Click the link below for the article:

https://www.vox.com/2015/2/11/8013065/mucus-snot-boogers

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Missed News 488A

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News You might have missed!

Use your browser or smartphone back arrow (<-) to return to this table for your next selection.

 

Some news you might have missed!

>Click Title of Item You Wish to Select<

NEWS NEWS
Massive Mt. Ruang eruption sends plumes nearly 70,000 feet high New York judge says Trump can’t attend Supreme Court arguments on presidential immunity
The Earth has rotated slowly enough to require a first ever negative leap second, according to a report published in Nature. Christina Applegate shared a candid account of how she was struggling to maintain her personal hygiene amid her battle with multiple sclerosis.
A former pharmaceutical executive and his cousin pleaded guilty on Wednesday to insider trading in Eastman Kodak, based on tips that the company was arranging Would you like some fries with that inflation?
Juan Vicente Pérez​ Mora was named the world’s oldest man by Guinness World Records on Feb 4, 2022, when he was 112 years and 253 days. A man has pleaded guilty to stealing a toilet made entirely from 18-carat gold and worth more than $6 million from the English stately home where wartime leader Winston Churchill was born.
California billionaire Don Hankey is the man who paid Former President Donald J. Trump’s $175 million bond as a part of a civil case in New York. “The situation is worsening,” a resident said of the growing piles of garbage outside the home
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AFRICAN & BLACK HISTORY (@AfricanArchives) posted at 7:43 AM on Sat, Apr 20, 2024:

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A rare photo of comedian  Redd Foxx with his older brother Fred G. Sanford Jr.

Redd Foxx made sure that the executives for the show Sanford and Son allowed him to name his character so that he could honor the memory of his brother, Fred, who’d died before the show premiered.

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Redd Foxx with his older brother Fred G. Sanford Jr.

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.Click the link below for the post:

https://x.com/AfricanArchives/status/1781649825571668074?t=GtKrbayI6U81gu2qPYU3Mw&s=03

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What I’ve Learned: Dan Aykroyd

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I know for sure that many different types of species are operating hyper-advanced aerodynamic platforms, and they’re visiting Earth, coming and going like taxis. As to who these operators are, I don’t know. Are they interdimensional, inter-realm, interplanetary?

I’ve had four vivid sightings of craft that were not jets, helicopters, or planes.

I was on my motorcycle about eight o’clock at night, and I saw a red beacon flying over the high-tension power lines. There was no sound. It stops right above my motorcycle and shines a light on me. I look up, totally delighted. And the light winks off, and this thing drifts off over the field again.

My dad was an absolute absurdist. He would go to a grocery store, grab a roll of paper towels, and whip them over to the next aisle to hear the reaction. “Oh, whoa, whoa!” He was wonderful.

I was very mouthy in class all the way through high school because I knew I could get laughs. I was not a good student, but I was an entertaining one.

My parents enrolled me in the St. Pius X minor preparatory seminary for boys, which was a priest school in Ottawa. So I went there from grade 9, 10, 11, and I was asked to leave, dismissed in a letter saying, “We believe your son is not a suitable candidate for the priesthood.”

A little under half the year, I’m at the farm in Ontario. It’s where the family settled in 1826.

We had a family medium, and frequent séances took place in the old farmhouse in the 1930s and ’40s, usually on a Sunday morning. The big black Chryslers, Packards, Cadillacs, and Lincolns would come in with the big bosomy matrons and their tiny, skinny little husbands. They’d sit around the table and my great-grandfather Samuel would host.

I was studying criminology at Carleton University and expecting that I would go into the corrections service, having worked a summer as a Clerk 5 in the Penitentiary Service of Canada doing inmate catalogs.

I wrote a manual for deploying weapons in riots for the commissioner. And I thought, “Well, it’s an interesting profession.”

But I met a woman named Valri Bromfield in high school, and she said, “You’re not going to be a prison guard. You’re coming with me to Toronto.” And she dragged me off with our audition tape that we’d made on cable TV in Ottawa. It got the attention of Lorne Michaels.

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https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod/images/index-65f99ad9e328b.jpg?crop=0.888xw:1.00xh;0.0537xw,0&resize=2048:*Kevin Nixon

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Click the link below for the article:

https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/movies/a46603087/dan-aykroyd-what-ive-learned/?utm_source=pocket_discover_self-improvement

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How Deep Does Life Go?

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When HMS Challenger set sail in 1872, some scientists still believed in the azoic theory: that life cannot exist below 300 fathoms, or 550 meters. Others thought that creatures lived in the abyss, but that the cold and dark prevented them from evolving. With no more than their dredges, the Challenger scientists soon disproved both ideas.

The exploration of life at and below the surface of the dark seafloor began with a 1936 article by Claude ZoBell and Quentin Anderson of the Scripps Institute of Oceanography, who found abundant bacteria in the surface layers of sediment cores 40 to 75 centimeters long taken off the coast of Southern California.

The deep sea and its creatures became a subject of great interest in the 1930s, prompted by the invention of the deep-sea submersible, a sort of mini submarine built to withstand the great pressures of the abyss. The most notable of these early vessels was the two-person “Bathysphere” used by famed scientist and author William Beebe (1877–1962), whose books with their photos of bizarre deep-sea creatures fascinated and inspired youngsters of an earlier time. Engineer Otis Barton designed the vessel, and he and Beebe used it to make a number of deep dives off the coast of Bermuda. In 1934, the two reached a record depth of 923 meters.

The successor to Beebe’s Bathysphere was the Alvin, named for its inventor, the eponymous Al Vine, and launched in 1964 by the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution. It was designed to carry two scientists and a pilot 4,500 meters down and allow them to stay at that depth for nine hours. Alvin made over 5,000 dives and fostered an estimated 2,000 research publications. But it had a rocky start, to say the least. Alvin’s first dive was in 1965 to 1,800 meters. In March 1966, Alvin was used in an unsuccessful attempt to recover a hydrogen bomb that had been lost in a midair accident and fallen to the seafloor at 910 meters depth off the coast of Spain. Then in October 1966, as Alvin was being lowered over the side of its support vessel, with crew members aboard and the hatch open, the two steel cables holding it broke. The crew was able to escape, but the vessel fell to the seafloor in 1,500 meters of water. The fortunate crew members had left their lunches behind, and when Alvin was hauled up, there the food was, intact and with no sign of attack by snacking microbes. This reinforced the view that the deep sea was inimical to significant bacterial life.

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https://thereader.mitpress.mit.edu/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/biosphere-700x420.jpgMicrobial life may be pervasive everywhere beneath Earth’s surface under conditions long thought to be inhospitable, if not fatal. Photo: Husnee Mubaarik, via Unsplash

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Click the link below for the article:

https://thereader.mitpress.mit.edu/how-deep-does-life-go/?utm_source=pocket_discover_science

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