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These days, we could do with all the mental strength we can muster.
Mental strength is the ability to productively regulate your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, even in the face of adversity. And adversity is in no short supply. If you want to overcome more challenges, achieve more success, experience more happiness and less stress — it takes mental strength.
After spending decades studying mental strength and interviewing and surveying thousands of people for my recent book, “The Mentally Strong Leader,″ I have good news. The mentally strongest people tend to share certain habits we can learn from. There are patterns I’ve noticed when it comes to what they say (and don’t say) and what they do.
If you always do these eight things, you’re already mentally stronger than most. If you don’t — yet! — you can look to this list as a mini-playbook that will help you level up your mental strength.
1. Manage emotions without minimizing them
That adage about how you should “leave your emotions at the door” just doesn’t work. If you’ve tried it, you know it’s not that simple.
That said, while mentally strong people are aware of emotions triggered inside, they don’t let those emotions instantly flow through into words or actions.
They catch their emotions, consider if they’re helpful to express, then decide how to respond. In other words, regarding unhelpful emotions, they catch it, check it, and change it (using the 3 Cs of cognitive behavioral therapy).
2. Remember confidence isn’t the absence of doubt
We all contend with doubt. Even the most confident people I’ve interviewed experience doubt.
Confidence, then, is your ability to manage your relationship with the doubt you’ll inevitably experience.
The mentally strong have found the right middle ground between overconfident and paralyzed by fear of failure. They acknowledge doubt, but let it sit quietly in the background so they can focus on how they will accomplish something, not if they can accomplish it in the first place.
3. Talk to yourself like a friend in need
Imagine a friend, clearly upset and in need of empathy, was telling you about a relationship they just ended. After listening, would you say:
“How could you let this relationship fail? It’s all your fault, you jerk!”
I doubt it. Instead, you might say:
“I appreciate what you’re going through and how much it must hurt. Try not to be so hard on yourself.”
You should take this more compassionate tone with yourself, too.
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Aug 16, 2024 @ 00:36:47
Great sharing
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Aug 16, 2024 @ 05:44:12
Thanks for your comment!
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