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What you can learn from regret

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When Peter and Sjanna Leighton were in their early 20s, their marriage fell apart. Money was tight, and they each feared they were disappointing the other; neither one knew how to communicate their vulnerabilities and hurt.

So one day, almost a year after their vows, Peter packed his bags and moved out of their home in San Antonio, Texas. He got an apartment on his own and focused on building his career in the restaurant business.

“From the outside world, it may have looked like I’d recovered from our marriage failing,” says Peter, who became chronically depressed. “But the memories of how powerful our togetherness could have been, and what could have happened if we had continued developing — all of that churned in me.”

Peter and Sjanna both quietly carried their regret over giving up on their relationship through other marriages, children, and divorce. Then in 2007, 33 years later, Sjanna searched Peter’s name online and found his photography website. “The first photo that came up was a picture of him that he’d taken in our bathroom when we were married, and the second picture was me on our honeymoon, which he had titled ‘The Muse,’” says Sjanna. She realized that he lived in Austin, not far from her, and after a few weeks, she built up the courage to send him an email. They met up for coffee. When they met up a second time a few weeks later, she asked him, “What happened with us, Peter?” He replied, “I don’t know, but you were the love of my life.” Within a month of reconnecting, they were dating again.

Today, at 75 and 72 years old, Peter and Sjanna have been happily remarried for 16 years. “When we got back together, we did it with our regrets and our perceived mistakes,” says Peter. “Because of that, when there have been storms, we’ve been able to weather them.”

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https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/sNAvW7jvWjDSdvcSWXbRNqlG-Sc=/0x0:2309x1299/920x613/filters:focal(971x466:1339x834):format(webp)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/73130256/GettyImages_1291540152.0.jpgGetty Images

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Click the link below for the article:

https://www.vox.com/even-better/24057051/regret-how-to-navigate-process-risk-comfort

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Myrela Sarajevo's avatar myrelar
    Feb 14, 2024 @ 06:57:17

    Nice!

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