Divorce Lawyers Know Why Relationships Fail. Here’s Their Dating Advice.

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Divorce lawyers have seen it all.

With an average of nearly 2,000 divorces a day in the US, those practicing family law have witnessed every possible way a marriage can dissolve. Ask a divorce lawyer about some of their most memorable cases, as I did, and you’ll hear stories that will make you want to delete every dating app off your phone.

There was the woman who hadn’t seen her husband’s home before they got married and found out after the wedding that he was a hoarder. There was the couple who froze embryos together with the plan to put off having children until they were married, only for the husband to leave his wife for another woman shortly before her 40th birthday and demand that the remaining embryos be destroyed. Or the mom who believed herself to be a vampire and who slept in a coffin every night, and her ex-husband had to file for emergency custody. Another woman ran over her soon-to-be-ex spouse with her car, putting him in the hospital for two days, and when asked to explain her reasoning, she responded simply that she hated him.

Leaving a bad marriage is a positive thing (just ask Nicole Kidman), but going through a divorce is something most people would like to avoid. It’s expensive (one Forbes article estimates the average cost is between $15,000 and $20,000, though they can often run into six figures). It’s stressful (one study found higher blood pressure in the recently divorced). It can bring out the worst in people. It would be perfectly understandable that those in the business of observing the end of love would caution people away from it altogether.

And yet, love persists. People continue to get married and remarried (including 58% of divorced people in the US). For many, the risk is still worth it.

So BuzzFeed News reached out to some of the top divorce lawyers for dating tips. This is not legal advice, and it’s also not a guarantee of a happily ever after; humans are always going to be messy. But it may be a useful framework for avoiding some of the most common conflicts down the line.


https://documents.buzzfeednews.com/_NewsDesign/packages/2022_08XX_Dating/Buzzfeed_Divorce_B.jpgSimon Abranowicz for BuzzFeed News



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