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It’s a tough call, whose needs are more important: the terminal patient or the people they leave behind.
I’m a big fan of Nora Ephron. I didn’t know her personally, but I often felt like she knew me. So much of what she wrote felt like something I could have said … if I was as witty and wise and as good with words as she was.
I love just about everything she said and wrote, but one of my favorite favorites is the chapter “On Maintenance,” from her book “I Feel Bad About My Neck,” where she writes about the increasing amount of time a woman has to spend on maintaining her looks as she ages. She calls it “Status Quo Maintenance” — what you do just to stay more or less even: the routine, everyday things required just to keep you from looking like someone who no longer cares.
Lots of women instantly identify with this, but most of us can’t express it quite so well. Nora died last June, and I miss her humor and spot-on assessments of human behavior. Yet she remains someone I’m completely fascinated with. She died of pneumonia, brought on by acute myeloid leukemia, something she fiercely fought for more than five years.
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Nora Ephron
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James' World 2 