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As any working mother can tell you, at one point or another, you’re going to need to outsource—even if you’re Michelle Obama. At an exclusive in-person event at People Inc. headquarters in New York City, the former First Lady spoke with her friend La La Anthony about her new book, The Look. People, Inc. is the parent company of Parents.
She admitted that it wasn’t long before her busy schedule campaigning as First Lady—while raising daughters Malia and Sasha (now 27 and 24)—led her to hire a stylist.
“There was no time to shop or think about clothes, so my executive brain function said, ‘I’m going to need some help,’” said Obama.
As Obama, 61, explains in her new book, co-written with longtime stylist Meredith Koop, that smart hire led to some of the most iconic looks in the White House despite her reluctance to talk about fashion while performing her duties as First Lady.
“Before I talked about the shoes and the gowns, I wanted my initiatives to speak,” she said.
But for Obama, it was never just about the clothes. In fact, function always took precedence over fashion. She insisted on having the ability to move freely—to hug, squat, or whatever was needed at an engagement.
“It would drive Meredith [Koop] and her team crazy,” said the Former First Lady. “I never wanted my clothes to stop me from engaging. If it calls for me to take off my shoes and connect with a kid, then that’s what’s going to happen. So don’t put me in something that is going to stain or wrinkle.”
Something that all mothers can relate to.
Unsurprisingly, while Obama was there to promote her new coffee table book, she gave us so much more to think about. Including multigenerational life lessons that all of us parents can benefit from.
Real Confidence Comes From Your Parents
Being a First Lady in the public eye takes confidence. When asked by LaLa Anthony where she gained hers from, Obama credited her parents for their love, stability, and adoration.
“I think that’s where real confidence comes from. I sat around a table where my parents loved my voice. They loved me and my brother’s conversation. They wanted to hear our ideas. They gave us a platform at our own kitchen table,” she said. “That’s the power of great parenting. It buttressed me for all that the world was going to present for me.”
That world wasn’t always kind, Obama explains.
“Because you go outside your home, particularly as a Black kid. As a tall Black kid. I think they knew that I was going to get a lot of ‘no’s’ and I was going to get a lot of pushback from a world, a country, a society that would have lower expectations of me than I had for myself. So I always came through the door blazing, feeling pretty smart and sure about things.”
Teach Your Kids to Live Without You
Now an empty nester, Obama can see the different ways her mom was preparing her to be independent.
“My mom had been preparing us for her death since she was 10. I think what she was doing was letting us know that she loved us, but that we can live life with and without her. And I understand that now as a parent,” she explains. “I want my daughters to know ‘I love you. You love me, but you don’t need me. You know everything you need to know to be successful.’”
Be Present in the Feeling
When the former First Lady was caring for her mom, Marian Robinson, near the end of her life, she said something that changed how Obama approached her sixth decade.
“She said, ‘Wow, that quick.’ And I said, ‘What are you talking about?’ and she said, ‘Life.’ What I got from that was that you’re never ready,” said Obama. “And I was like, let me hear that. Let me understand that. Even with a wonderful life, I want to be present. And I think that feeling of 60 is about me trying to be present in the feeling—trying to be present in this moment in my life so that this last chapter is exactly how I want it to be.”
There’s Freedom in Being an Empty Nester
Everything Michelle Obama has done since becoming a mother has been to ensure her girls turn out whole. But with her daughters now out of the house, she’s embracing life rather than mourning the past like so many other empty nesters might do.
“This is the first time in my life where every single decision I make is mine,” she said. “It’s what I want to do. And there’s a burden in that, too. This is the first time I’ve been able to do that for me with no excuses, so that means the consequences are mine too. There’s freedom with that.”
Only Take Advice From Seasoned Moms
The conversation would not have been complete without her making us laugh. Several times. The most memorable? A playful PSA reminding attendees to stop listening to young mommy bloggers. All in jest, she reminded us that none of us has any idea what we’re doing during those first few years.
“Let me hear what you have to say when they’re 27. That’s when I’ll take your advice,” she said. “I don’t know you’re right until I see the final product. I want to talk to Mariane Robinson. I want to talk to the woman who raised the First Lady. All parent bloggers should be grown people.”
Who are we to disagree?
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Former First Lady Michelle Obama & La La Anthony discuss her new book ‘The Look’ at People Inc. Photo: Stephen Lovekin/Shutterstock for People, Inc.
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