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Employee wellbeing is under serious strain. Roughly 60% of workers say they’re struggling with engagement, and one in five report feeling lonely, according to Gallup. This is no small issue for managers: employees who aren’t thriving are less productive, less committed, and more likely to have a negative effect on your company’s bottom line.
That’s why you need to be aware of how your team is doing and be ready to step in if any issues arise. This takes a commitment to building trust and keeping communication open, says Emma Seppälä, a faculty member at the Yale School of Management and author of Sovereign: Reclaim Your Freedom, Energy, and Power in a Time of Distraction, Uncertainty, and Chaos.
“Make sure your employees feel comfortable and safe with you,” she says. “If they don’t feel they can trust you or that you care, they won’t be open to talking to you.”
Even with a strong rapport, it can be challenging to understand how your colleagues truly feel about their roles, work, and relationships — especially for your remote employees. Asking the right questions in focused one-on-one settings is key, says Steven Rogelberg, Chancellor’s Professor at the University of North Carolina Charlotte and author of Glad We Met: The Art and Science of 1:1 Meetings.
“What we missed during the pandemic was connection and feeling seen by those critical to our success and careers,” he says. “We missed having conversations that matter.”
To make sure you’re in tune with your people, here are six questions our experts suggest to go beyond surface-level interactions.
1. How are you showing up today on a scale of 1-10?
The trouble with perfunctory questions like “How’s life?” is that they often lead to superficial responses like “fine” or “good.” But asking team members to rate their current state on a numerical scale invites a more deliberate form of self-assessment, says Rogelberg. This is particularly important for remote workers who may feel isolated and less connected. If someone ranks themselves a four, for instance, the follow-up question, “What factors are contributing to that score?” becomes a gateway to reflection and deeper understanding.
“Maybe someone is wrestling with a tough project or dealing with stuff at home,” he says. “Asking follow-up questions can help you learn things you might not find out otherwise.”
One word to the wise, however. Before launching into this conversation, set a tone of genuine concern and compassion, says Seppälä. Make eye contact, use a warm voice, and signal that you’re present. “Let them know this conversation is for them and that you care for them as a human first, employee second.”
2. What’s something you’re excited about right now outside of work?
This question might not reveal how your colleagues feel about their jobs, per se, but it does help you build personal connections by uncovering common interests and exploring differences. “Getting to know your team members as people with lives outside of work takes time and trust,” says Rogelberg. “But building this foundation is worthwhile because it makes it easier for people to talk about concerns later on.”
Stay within your colleague’s comfort zone; if someone is hesitant to share, don’t press. “As you gain their trust, they may feel more comfortable opening up,” he says.
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