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Or maybe it’s not a new colleague. Instead, someone you’ve been around a lot develops a serious health condition. Again, suddenly, you don’t know how to interact, what to ask, what not to ask. You are walking on eggshells.

Discomfort around disability is well-documented. But how do we make sure the discomfort does not turn into discrimination?

The Elephant in the Room: Disability Discomfort

Most of us have some underlying anxiety when it comes to interacting with disabled people. It’s not that we’re cruel or indifferent—it’s that we’re afraid of doing or saying something wrong. We might not fully understand what a person’s experience is like, and this lack of understanding contributes to awkward tension. Worse yet, the elephant grows bigger as we try to avoid it.

Disability discomfort isn’t malicious, but it has serious consequences. When discomfort takes over, it often leads to avoidance. Conversations become shorter—or don’t happen at all. Invitations to coffee, team outings, or professional opportunities dry up. Over time, a disabled colleague may find themselves excluded, not because anyone intended harm, but because discomfort made inclusion feel “too complicated.”

This is how discomfort-driven discrimination happens. It’s not always about overt prejudice. Sometimes, it’s about the small ways people signal, “I don’t know how to interact with you, so I won’t.”

Discomfort is Normal. Discrimination is Not

Let’s clear something up: Feeling awkward around disability doesn’t make you a bad person. Most of us were raised in societies where disability was rarely discussed or openly visible. Where most parents taught their kids to avert their eyes in the face of visible disability and did their darnest to hide their own non-apparent conditions.

So when you encounter disability, your brain fumbles. That fumbling is okay. What’s not okay is letting that discomfort stop you from treating someone with the same respect, dignity, and humanity you extend to everyone else.

How to Turn Awkwardness Into Allyship

So, what can you do when disability awkwardness strikes? Here are some tips to help you navigate these moments with grace—and ensure your discomfort doesn’t unintentionally hurt someone else.

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[Source Photo: Ivan Samkov/Pexels]

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