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“Second place is the first loser.”
We’ve all been in that situation where we competed hard to win, only to come up short. At times like these, it can be tough to remain focused on your achievements and instead dwell on the feeling of having lost. For me, that moment came when I was nominated as a finalist for Young Entrepreneur of the Year—and I came in second place.
Don’t worry, I eventually built a successful career as a leader at some of the world’s biggest companies including Deloitte and Meta. But at the time, coming in runner-up felt like a crushing defeat from which I’d never recover.
Here are five lessons I learned along the way.
Don’t fixate on goals, focus on outcomes
It might seem presumptuous, but I had fully expected to win the award. I had started my first business at the age of 8, was the founder of a tech startup by age 21, and by 31 Australian Financial Review had published a full-page feature on me. Who could possibly be more deserving?
Along the journey to what I saw as my defeat, I had lost sight of those achievements and how they’d positively impacted the lives of my cofounders, colleagues, and clients. The collective benefit of these outcomes far outweighed the glory of a single award.
Be mindful of the halo effect as you work towards personal milestones and professional achievements. When you’re doing it right, the impact of your work can be used as a powerful tool to raise the bar and create positive effects for those around you.
Follow the leader
When you lose out on a deal to a competitor or get passed over for a promotion in favor of a colleague, it’s natural to focus on the negatives and obsess about all the reasons you were more deserving. At these times, you have two choices: You can grumble about it or use it as an opportunity to get better.
I asked for feedback when I placed second for Young Entrepreneur of the Year. The judges told me it was a dead heat between me and the winner. The only difference was the winner had worked abroad to gain international experience and I hadn’t. So after licking my wounds for a few weeks, I decided to fill that gap. Within a few months, I had secured a new role in Singapore and boarded a flight that would transport me to the next chapter of my life and career.
They say comparison is the thief of joy but if you can look at your losses objectively and are willing to act on the feedback you receive, coming in second place can be just the motivation needed to see what’s been holding you back.
Make your failures public
For the longest time, I was ashamed to share that I’d come second place. I agonized over the decision of whether to speak about it publicly or not. As it turns out, no one even knew I was in the running. Once they found out I had been a finalist, people congratulated me and thought it was great news.
The truth is no one cares about what we’re doing as much as we do ourselves. The message people take away is usually not about winning or losing, but rather that we deserve a seat at the table.
As leaders, we are often pressured to always paint a good news story. More often than not, talking about the high-stakes opportunities we lost or resulted in failure can be beneficial. Being invited to pitch for a huge account and coming in second place can be something you hide away, or it can be the very thing that gets you invited to compete for other large deals.
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[Source Photo: Joshua Golde/Unsplash]
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James' World 2 
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