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By age 11, Kassondra Ola had been prescribed the following psychiatric medications at one point or another: Zoloft, Concerta, Celexa, Lexapro, risperidone, Neurontin, Depakote, Seroquel, lithium, Topamax, Trileptal, Abilify, and Adderall. It’s a mix of antidepressants, antipsychotics, a stimulant, and a few things for seizures.
Growing up in northern Virginia, Ola was a skinny and anxious preteen. She got good grades, but she was withdrawn and easily distracted. She ate little; the textures of some foods did not seem right. Internally, she was processing the rift between her parents that would eventually lead to their divorce, as well as the aftermath of a childhood trauma. Her parents got her into mental health treatment, and when she was 10, a psychiatrist diagnosed her with bipolar disorder.
The meds he prescribed made her sleepy and caused tremors and body pains. They brought on a mental haze, and the frustration of struggling against it led to more moodiness and outbursts, Ola recalls. She once yelled at a teacher that she was in so much pain she didn’t want to live anymore.
“The medications seemed to induce more behavioral problems than they helped,” said Ola. “I was always in trouble for something, and they were always adjusting the meds or sticking me in the psychiatric unit for something.” She felt as if she had little self-esteem or even a sense of identity.
By age 20, Ola was living with her grandmother and muddling through community college classes. At church, she met someone who was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, a condition that today would be considered autism spectrum disorder. He noted that, like him, she had trouble socializing and experienced sensory aversions. They even had the same slow, precise speech pattern.
After a neuropsychological test, Ola was diagnosed with Asperger’s too. Her signs of maladjustment as a preteen? Maybe they were how a neuroatypical kid dealt with stress.
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Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by Jessica Ticozzelli/Pexels.
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James' World 2 
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