James' World 2

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When I was 15, my mom announced at the breakfast table that I had a job interview that morning.

She said there was no getting out of it because it was all arranged. Dad would drive me to the new bakery that her friend’s son was about to open in our hometown in northern England.

Two hours later, I sat opposite the manager as she read aloud parts of the application my mom had forged without my knowledge.

“You wrote that math is one of your best subjects,” the woman said, noting that the position was for a part-time counter person at the bakery.

I was abysmal at math. Sure enough, when the manager asked me to solve a simple equation to test my mental arithmetic, I got the answer spectacularly wrong.

Next, the woman showed me the personal note my mom had mailed with my application, addressed to the business owner and introducing herself as his mother’s friend. “Congratulations, John,” she wrote. “Wishing you all the best with your new business venture.”

I cringed, barely believing Mom had tried to pull so many strings to get me the job. The manager had my number, and I didn’t get hired.

When I got home, I argued with my parents. “We were just trying to help,” my dad said. “Don’t ever do that again,” I yelled.

They had good intentions, but it was an example of helicopter parenting at its worse. They wanted to instill a work ethic in me, but it backfired.

When I was hired after showing initiative myself, I felt proud

A few months later, I secured a part-time job by randomly asking for shifts at a local café. The owner said he admired my initiative, which boosted my bank account and self-esteem.

I later found part-time work as a dishwasher at a restaurant, a sales assistant in a menswear store, and a bartender. Toward the end of college, I was a breakfast waitress at a hotel, starting at 6. am.

I tried to get my teenage daughter a job, too

You’d have thought the humiliating experience at the bakery would have taught me a lesson forever. But now, as the mom of a 16-year-old girl, it’s difficult not to copy my parents.

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Jane Ridley (not pictured) is trying not to make the same mistakes her helicopter parents did. standret/Getty Images

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