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The Phone Call
Esther Perel: What I understand so far is that you are in a transition.
Caller: Very much so.
You are hoping to be able to reunite with your ex-wife. You were together for about seven years.
Yeah, married seven and together 13.
Okay, and the last time you were in a transition, you had just had a new job, you had a child, you had a new house, and you let it all go. You fell in love with another woman. You instigated a rather expedient divorce. You have been with this other woman since, and at the moment of the next transition, which was to marry this new woman, you freaked out, and you realized that’s not at all what you wanted.
Yeah.
And you were about to meet with your ex for the first time again as a date, not just as co-parents.
She wouldn’t call it a date, but I did.
You called it a date. She called it an identity check?
I guess you can say that she told me she wanted to see me, to see if it’s worth getting back into it.
And your big question is, Do I deserve this? You used the word redemption, which is a very big word, and as I was listening to your question, my first thought was, What does he mean by redemption? What is redemption for you?
Redemption is winning her back. She’s always been my home, and I broke her in a very devastating way. I realize that my question is a little bit — I don’t know if convoluted is the right word because I know it’s up to her, really. But I’m having trouble at this moment even knowing that I deserve forgiveness.
That is a good question. Can I ask you, before then — talk to me about your experience of homelessness.
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Photo-Illustration: by The Cut; Photos: Getty Images
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James' World 2 
Oct 17, 2023 @ 08:01:20
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