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What Is ‘Marriage Language,’ and Are You Speaking It?

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The word for a TV remote is marote; for chicken, it’s chimpken, and for the Aperol Spritz cocktail it’s app-a-ball spitz-ee. Shrimp is swimps, hair ties are hair gigglies and Starbucks is Starbonks.

All of these are examples of so-called marriage language, the weird and oftentimes embarrassing dialects people in long-term relationships develop to communicate with their partners.

It’s typically a mishmash of inside jokes (giving friends and family members nicknames) and purposeful malapropisms (slipping up and mispronouncing bird as birb), plus faux abbreviations (a shower is a show show, spinach becomes spinch) and code words for cruder terms (every couple seems to have their own word for passing gas).

Most people give their partner affectionate nicknames, and as many as two-thirds of couples use romantic baby talk to signal closeness. Marriage language is the natural extension of these behaviors, a personalized lexicon built up between two people who have spent so much time together that they’ve started using their own dialect.

Lilianna Wilde and Sean Kolar, musicians and content creators from Los Angeles who have been married for almost five years, said that their marriage language started to develop when they first moved in together after a year of long-distance dating. First came “show show” — Sean’s nickname for a shower. Then there was chick rotiss for a rotisserie chicken, pantaloons for jeans, and an oopsie for a sidewalk curb.

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https://static01.nyt.com/images/2023/09/26/fashion/26SIGNIFICANT-OTHER-LANGUAGE/26SIGNIFICANT-OTHER-LANGUAGE-jumbo.jpg?quality=75&auto=webpOh yes, darling, let’s have a delicious “app-a-ball spitz-ee.”Credit…Liliana Wilde

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