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As a therapist who counsels couples, I have seen many people struggle with tough problems that are difficult to talk about. How do you tell a partner you do not want to move in together? Should you reveal an affair? In almost every relationship, there is an issue where someone is growing increasingly resentful.
It could be significant, like a waning sex life. Or it could be small, such as the partner never replacing the empty toilet paper roll. In each of these examples, one person can be stuck in a decision limbo. They are not happy but they are unsure what to do about it. A decisional impasse ranks high among the reasons people seek marital therapy.
Decision paralysis is not a relationship problem, it is a human one. Our brain favors the current state relative to an uncertain future state (known as status quo bias), research shows. Facing a painful or scary decision about our relationships is stressful, which can make it even harder to make a decision. “When we are stressed, we are operating in a state of high emotion. And based on how our brains work, when our emotions are high, our cognitive abilities are low,” says Abby Davisson, an author of “Money And Love.”
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(Celia Jacobs for The Washington Post)
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