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There is no shortage of difficult and even painful conversations we may need to have with our kids throughout their childhood. But telling them their parents are divorcing, changing forever the very structure of their family and their lives, has to be one of the hardest, for them and for you. The messaging necessary in those conversations will evolve over time as they get older, and the behaviors they may display that indicate they’re in distress can look different depending on their age.
But Dr. Joanna Stern, a senior clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, says that although the way you talk to kids about a divorce will change and grow more nuanced the older they get, kids of all ages need to feel or hear reassurance that they are going to be cared for and supported during and after the process.
“What [parents] really want to communicate to kids of all ages is, ‘We’ve got you,’” Sterns says. “‘Your needs are going to be taken care of regardless of what is happening with us and with the divorce.’”
And just as important, Stern says, is to remember what not to say. Namely, don’t bad-mouth the other parent, even in subtle ways, and even with the youngest of kids. So let’s start there—with toddlers.
How to talk to toddlers about divorce
Obviously, there’s very little a parent can or should do by way of explaining a divorce to a child who isn’t yet verbal. A young toddler, though, is likely to require some kind of explanation if you’re divorcing and one parent is moving out.
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Illustration: René Ramos
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James' World 2 
Jul 16, 2023 @ 05:38:24
Wise words 👏
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Jul 16, 2023 @ 22:08:43
It’s really a difficult subject!
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