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Whether it’s a meetup at a dimly lit bar, an awkward blind date, a speed-dating event, or even an answer to a classified ad in the newspaper, American dating has long been an experiment of throwing strangers together and hoping for the best. In many cases, there was little to connect people except a shared geography or, perhaps, a mutual acquaintance.
For the most part, this dating formula worked. American marriages are full of people who started dating when they were complete strangers. A survey conducted by the Survey Center on American Life, where I’m the director, found that 46% of married Americans reported not knowing their spouse before they started dating.
But that’s changing: Today’s young adults, especially young women, are increasingly finding romance in their friend groups. In our survey, 43% of people between the ages of 18 and 29 said they were in a relationship with someone who was first a friend, including an astonishing 50% of women in that cohort. This is double the 21% of people over 65 who reported having been friends with their partner or spouse before they started dating. Among older couples, 52% said their significant other was a complete stranger to them before they got together, while only 35% of young people said the same. In other words, a lot more older Americans created a relationship out of thin air.
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Instead of relying on dating apps or meeting a stranger, Gen Z is increasingly finding romance in their friend groups. Arif Qazi / Insider
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