James' Funnies

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Some of these are old but what else are you going to do on this rainy start of your fifth week of isolation.

These glorious insults are from an era “ before” the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

Lady Astor: If you were my husband I would poison you.
Winston: If I were your husband I would drink it!
Lady Astor: You are drunk!
Winston: Yes and you are ugly.  But tomorrow I won’t be drunk but you will still be ugly!
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
“That depends, Sir, “  said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”
“He had delusions of adequacy .”
-Walter Kerr
“He has all the virtues I dislike and…

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