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Most dating advice glosses over the concepts of compatibility and chemistry, assuming most people have an intuitive grasp of what they are and why they’re important. When you have chemistry with someone, you just feel it. When you’re dating someone you’re not compatible with, it’s obvious — like biting into a piece of spoiled fruit, the discomfort is impossible to ignore.
Compatibility and chemistry are mostly ignored by dating advice because they’re things that can’t be faked or changed. Instead, we spend most of our time studying self-improvement, presentation, and the technical mastery of social minutiae, all in an attempt to excel at the sales job of our romantic and sexual services to possible partners. Dating advice is designed to get that person who we feel is out of our league, to somehow trick or coax or cajole them into noticing us. The girl we’ve never had before. The man we’ve fantasized about. And if that guy or girl who’s out of our league is actually not compatible with us, well, we don’t really want to hear about it.
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Finding the right combination of chemistry and compatibility can be challenging.
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James' World 2 
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