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Received These From A Friend

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*  Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
 
*   I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.   

  *   I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

  *   Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter —– The Living Room or The Bedroom

  *   PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

  *   Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

  *   I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to…

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